Happy I Failed!

Honestly, I could never imagine that I would say this one day!. People now see that I am working in Google, but frankly, this has been a long journey, 10 years to be exact. The whole 10 year journey has been full of failures (failure according to me, because we all have ridicously high expectations of ourselves 😆). I missed by a mark on 10 GPA in 10th, didn’t get the branch I wanted in the top IITs, NITs, didn’t get into a bootcamp in college, failed not once but twice in Google interviews! (As they say, third time’s the charm 😛) and many more…

The point I’m trying to make here is everyone fails, every single person fails. They just don’t share it openly (and we try to idolize successful people!) If by chance, something does’nt go our way, Oh My God!, starting from “Why does it happen only with me?” to “I’m not capable enough”, all kind of self doubt creeps in and we give up. We all fear failure and don’t even try in the first place.

This is the first barrier we all need to cross. I have seen the most talented people who are just afraid of failure and hence don’t try for better things. I know this is all very easy to say and can be found in any book, but trust me when I say it took me 1.5 years and two failed Google interview attempts, lots of sleepless nights (crying sometimes), calls with my mentors and few other attitude changes to finally overcome my fear of failure and say “Screw it!, I’m going to do it no matter what”

1. The first change that worked me was to not have extreme desire on what I wanted. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s true. You don’t fear failing at something which you didn't want in the first place. (And this has to be true detachment, so much so that even if you get it, you don’t feel the excitement at all…which is what I’m facing now 😅)
2. The second one is what I call De-personalisation. We are very good at giving advise or supporting others, but when it comes to ourselves, we basically let all our insecurities and emotions like ego, self-doubt, anxiety come in. So the trick here is to truly remove ourselves from the equation. Think of the situation as a complete problem, and that you are advising your friend or junior on how to solve it. Think of it as a practical problem, where emotions or insecurities are not there….Many times we already know what our weakness is, but due to ego, self-doubt we fail to take action on them, but very well advise the same to our friends (we all are hypocrites!😄)
3. Third is self-analysis. This is really important but what most people fail to do. Everyone’s path is different, everyone’s insecurities are different. So just trying to ask someone as to what they need to do is not enough. Look inside!, do a complete self analysis using de-personalisation (by keeping your ego aside😅) and check what areas you are weak, what needs to be improved. Only you know yourself well!
4. Nothing extreme is good, thinking you would leave everything aside and focus on your prep might make you more stressed and at the same time, enjoying too much without focusing on prep overconfidently is another thing. Having a discplined, balanced prep time consistently is what really matters. (Atomic Habits book changed me for good!)
5. Consistency is a must!, Having episodes of focused time for few days and not doing any work for few days is a waste, you would be back to square one. Instead, doing few problems daily keeps you in touch and helps you develop your skills overtime.
6. Stop being sorry for yourself. Self pity is our number one enemy. I have done this too, where I used to think, I have ‘sacrificed’ so much, but still didn’t get any result. Thanks to my mentors, I slowly realised, just because we work hard doesn’t mean we are entitled to something. So stop vieweing it as a sacrifice, and see it in terms of choice. Think every action you take, how would it help you. For example, that moment when you wake up and think should I get up or go back to sleep for 10 more mins is a choice. All choices have pros and cons, and its upto you to decide which choice is worth the risk. Some choices pay off, some don’t…it’s as simple as that
7. Having a supportive community around you is important. It need not be daily, but having parents, friends and mentors whom you know you can reach out when in doubt helps. I was lucky to have had parents who were there for me on those nights when I felt like giving up, mentors who showed me the mirror and told me exactly what I had to hear (it was tough, but I very much needed it😅) and friends who would check on me regularly to wish me luck and say that they have confidence in me
8. Learn to seek help in a correct way. All resources are online, so even if you ask someone, they would give you the same advise thinking you are a beginner. Instead, while asking help, give them a background of your current prep level, explain what resources you are using and then ask them what more you would have to do to improve in certain areas. This way people will give you the right advice
9. Coming to technical resources, everything is already out there. Leetcode, Interview bit, Cracking The Coding interview book, cp-algorithms for practise and Pramp for mock interviews are good places to start. Again everyone’s journey is different, so it is important to de-personalise, do a self analysis first and then start searching for resources.
10. As the dialouge from 3 Idiots goes, ‘Bachcha kabil bano, kabil; kamyabi toh saali jhak maarke peeche bhagegi’, aim for excellence and success will follow. Focus on getting your basics right (learnt the hard way😅), strive to being your best and give an attempt with the thought that you later should’nt regret you didn’t give it your everything.
11. Excuses…., I have heard people say we don’t have time, I have college, project this that etc etc. I have seen people who are busy as hell and still are able to achieve everything!, passion is what that pushes you!. As Harvey Specter says “Winners don’t make excuses when other side plays it’s game”. If you really want something, you won’t waste your time drafting excuses, instead you get the task done!
12. Patience, the most difficult thing when you want something really bad. I think this whole journey taught me that, it’s okay to not get in the first attempt, it’s okay if life goes in a different way than we imagined it. It’s important that we don’t compare ourselves and rush our timelines just to match others. We need to understand that everyone have their own different finish lines and time to end the race.
13. Giving your best is all that matters!. Throughout my life, I have observed that whenever I do something with an aim of achieving/winning something or to impress others, it never works out. But if I work with an attitude of giving my best and work with thought that I should’nt regret later in future that I didn’t try my best, I end up happy even if I get it or not, because I know I put my 200% into it.
14. Being calm just before the interview really matters. Meditating before interview or doing anything else apart from reading for interview helps. I personally used to hear the ‘sattar minute hai tumhare pass’ dialouge from Chak de India which used to pump me up😅. Remember being in the moment and enjoying it matters
15. And at last I would say, trust the timing. I know, its difficult to hear this, but I can speak from my experience that it turned out for good. I am happy that I went through all the failures to reach here. Had I reached Google before, I would’nt have had this change in attitude, I would’nt have met all the amazing people I now have in my life and I would’nt be able to get the amazing team that I am in Google now!. I wouldn’t have wished for a different journey than this! ‘Apna Time Aayega’, just keep going!